Casual relationships, in simple words, can be defined as being in a relationship with someone without being committed to them. People who date casually often declare that they are not exclusive with their partner, which means they don’t plan on a long-term relationship.
In casual relationships, you get to experience a traditional relationship without being loyal to your partner. It means you can continue to see other people while still being in a relationship.
Is Casual Dating Wrong?
Often, people question whether dating casually is right or wrong. Well, there is no right or wrong answer to this question as it depends on various factors.
Not everyone can have casual relationships as people easily get attached. While for people who are not looking for long-term commitment, or have commitment issues, can look into dating casually.
Sometimes, a person’s morals may stop them from being in a relationship that has no commitment. However, this doesn’t mean that someone who dates casually has no morals.
Some people indulge in casual relationships because they are attracted to a person but are not sure about what future they hold together. Hence, to protect their feelings, they do not commit due to future uncertainties.
Benefits Of Casual Relationships
There are pros and cons to everything. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits and demerits of dating casually:
1) Freedom & Flexibility
In a casual relationship, you don’t have to provide a commitment to your partner. This allows you to do things on your own terms. Additionally, you don’t need permission or may not even need to inform your partner about anything.
Whereas in a committed relationship, sometimes you may be required to inform and ask your partner about things that may limit your freedom. (Note: this is not the case for all relationships because every relationship varies). Moreover, you may have to make decisions keeping your partner’s interest in mind.
While dating someone casually, you don’t owe them anything, you can be open about anything without feeling the need to hide something or fear your partner.
2) Allows Personal Growth
When you commit to someone in a long-term relationship, you are likely to spend a lot of time with them. Some couples like to spend every minute together. However, this does not allow one to have space for personal growth.
In a relationship, having personal space and working on self-improvement is necessary. When you spend time working on yourself, you get to grow. Whereas, when you are in a casual relationship, you aren’t that serious, hence, you prioritise yourself over the relationship.
3) Helps Fulfil Your Desires
Single people often desire physical and emotional intimacy. However, if they are not in for commitment, they can opt for dating casually which allows them to satisfy their desires without remaining tied to anything.
Suggested reads: The Art Of Intimacy: Physical & Emotional Intimacy
4) Low Pressure & Low Disappointment
Often in relationships, people have expectations. When expectations are unmet, they cause one to feel disappointed. However, in the case of a casual relationship, one doesn’t keep expectations, thus the chances of being disappointed are comparatively lower.
Moreover, in a committed relationship one may feel the pressure to satisfy their partner or make them feel special. Unlike a casual relationship in which people keep low expectations or no expectations, and don’t feel the pressure of pleasing their partner.
Couples that date casually, often go with the flow and do not have to worry about things that people in committed relationships have to worry about.
5) Low Risk Of Heartbreak
There is always a risk of heartbreak in relationships. When you are in a committed relationship with someone and you break up, it leads to heartbreak. However, you are less likely to be heartbroken if you are in a casual relationship. This is because you are attached and feel strongly towards your partner in a relationship. However, when you are casually dating, you are not extremely attached and may love your partner romantically.Â
Demerits Of Casual Relationships
Now that we have learnt the merits of a casual relationship, let’s look at some of the demerits:
1) Complications
Some people tend to catch feelings even when they are dating someone casually. This leads to complications with feelings and unwanted heartbreak. As mentioned above, not everyone can date casually as some people tend to catch feelings very quickly.
Moreover, with intimacy, these feelings get stronger over time. In cases in which only one person catches feelings, it changes the dynamic of the relationship and causes one to feel stressed, and upset.
2) Societal judgement
While some people are okay with casual dating, there is a lot of stigma around it. Often society judges people and questions the character of someone who dates casually. Dealing with judgment can often cause difficulties for people.
3) Confusion
In a casual relationship, when partners don’t communicate their expectations, desires, or rules, it causes confusion. Communication is important even in a casual relationship because it helps partners to be on the same page.
Without communication, partners may assume things, thus leading to misunderstanding and causing more confusion.
4) Time consuming
When people casually date, they may date multiple people at the same time. Spending time and going on dates with multiple people without any genuine connection takes a lot of time and effort and this can cause fatigue.
One of the basic human needs is to have meaningful relationships, be it family, friends, or partners. However, when someone is dating casually, they miss out on building meaningful & genuine relationships.
5) Unwanted Pregnancy & STD
When you are physically intimate with multiple people at the same time, there is a high risk of unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Hence, it is important to take the necessary precautions required to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy.
Boundaries One Must Set While Casual Dating
Even when you are casually dating people, it is important to set boundaries with your partner as it helps in:
a) Providing clarity
b) Building Respect
c) Avoiding misunderstanding
d) Building trust, and much more.
Ensure that you communicate with your partner, share your boundaries with one another and ensure that you respect the boundaries you have set.
For example – in a casual relationship, some couples may be okay with their partners having multiple partners, while others may not. Hence, it is important to discuss these boundaries well in advance to avoid any misunderstanding or disappointment.
The boundaries you keep in your relationship may vary depending on factors such as your bond with your partner, their expectations, etc. Hence, it is best to communicate with your partner about your boundaries as it will help you be on the same page as your partner about the relationship.
Casual Dating Rules
Even though casual relationships provide freedom and flexibility, one must set ground rules with their partners. Setting ground rules can help you have clarity and ensure that you and your partner have a good experience in the relationship.
The casual dating rules you set with your partner may vary in different situations. Hence, let’s take a look at some of the casual dating rules.
- Attachment
Some couples make it very clear that they do not want to form any attachment as they are not serious about the relationship and may see other people. It is important to make this clear in the beginning so that no one feels betrayed.
- Clarifying Long-Term Intentions
It is important to clear your long-term intentions. Some couples like to explore and be sure before getting into a committed relationship, this helps them ensure that they don’t get hurt. Moreover, some couples also like to date multiple people simultaneously before getting serious, to ensure that they are with the right person.
- Ensuring Consent
Throughout the relationship, you and your partner must communicate each other’s consent with each other. This ensures you and your partner can enjoy a healthy and consensual relationship.
- Boundaries
As mentioned above, it is extremely important to set boundaries in a relationship. Ensure that you and your partner set and respect boundaries. This helps to ensure that everyone is satisfied in the relationship.
- Time Commitment
Apart from the consent, boundaries, and commitment, it is also important to discuss the time you can set aside to spend with your partner.
Some couples wish to focus on their careers completely, and not make their relationship a priority. Hence, they may not be able to give a lot of time to their partner. In such a relationship, it is important that couples clearly communicate how much time they can dedicate to the relationship.
Also read: 5 Important Dos & Don’ts To Follow When You’re In A Casual Relationship
Conclusion
Casual relationships can be described as a relationship that does not involve a long-term commitment towards their partners. There are many pros and cons to dating casually. Nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with it as everyone has different beliefs.
It is important to set boundaries and communicate while dating casually as it allows you to be on the same page as your partner. People choose to date casually for various reasons such as wanting to focus on their careers, waiting for the right person, not wanting to get hurt, etc.